Mijn bevalling in Ziekenhuis Amstelland via gentle sectio

Soms zijn er spannende momenten in het leven dat je iets heel persoonlijks deelt met bekenden en onbekenden. Zoals 3 jaar geleden toen mijn boek uitkwam, ik openlijk vertelde over onze vruchtbaarheidsproblemen en alles wat er aan de komst van Felicia vooraf is gegaan. Vandaag delen we de allereerste beelden van ons zoontje Sebastiaan. Zelfs zijn bevalling kan je zien in dit filmpje. Het is met dezelfde reden als de reden waarom ik mijn boek heb geschreven: het is bedoeld om andere mensen te helpen. Met dit filmpje wil ik andere (zwangere) vrouwen laten zien wat een gentle keizersnee inhoudt, zodat je beter voorbereid bent mocht je zwangerschap eindigen in een keizersnee, net als bij mij. Let goed op in welk ziekenhuis je bevalt, nog lang niet in alle ziekenhuizen is deze nieuwe vorm van keizersnee mogelijk. Ik vond het heel bijzonder om onze baby geboren te zien worden en fantastisch dat hij meteen bij mij op de borst werd gelegd, al tijdens de operatie toen ik nog gehecht werd. Daarnaast ben ik ook kwetsbaar om mezelf te tonen net na de bevalling. Ik ben geen prinses Kate, had geen team van visagisten en kappers om me heen, en het welbekende vogelnestje in mijn haar. Ik zag er misschien niet uit als een fotomodel, maar dit is wel een van de gelukkigste momenten van mijn leven toen onze zoon gezond geboren was. Na 10 jaar is ons gezin compleet. Daar kan niets tegenop. Elke dag een cadeautje. XX Anne

My story after publishing my IVF book

This is the epilogue of my book Looking for Easter Eggs.

Saturday 2 August 2014
Sharing my personal story was the most meaningful and rewarding thing I have done in my life (besides giving birth to Felicia of course). It was also quite exciting to share our story with people we knew and didn’t know. How would they react? My neighbours, friends and family, and others.
Thank God, everyone loved my book! I have received the most beautiful reviews, I was told people had to both cry and smile when reading my story.
I received the first copy of my book on Felicia’s first birthday. I remember the big truck that drove into our narrow street, and the postman handing over a small package with the first two copies. It was three o’clock in the afternoon, the birthday cake had just been delivered and our guests were about to arrive. I felt so proud, I had finished my book and now it was so real! We celebrated the birth of my book and the birthday of our little girl. She had no idea that book was all about her, and everything that had happened before she filled our lives with joy and happiness.
It was a hectic period. Two days before the book launch, my oldest sister gave birth to her third child, a baby girl named Jolie. The day of the book launch I had my first visit again at the IVF clinic, to start with a new round as we were hoping to have a little brother of sister for Felicia one day. Although she had only just turned one, you never know how many years it might take for yet another miracle to take place – if at all.
The book launch was a great party at the fancy North Sea Jazz Club in Amsterdam. The director of the IVF clinic handed over the first copy of my book, together with the doctor who had transferred the Felicia-embryo and who had showed us her very first heartbeat.

Then, all of a sudden, I found myself in this roller coaster ride, I was invited for tv shows (which is a bit too scary I think), I got interviews in fancy magazines, photo shoots and started blogging on several websites. How I loved all the beautiful and professional photos I received from Felicia and me.
The ‘Moeders voor Moeders’-organisation embraced my story, and gave away thousands of books to early pregnant women. It was amazing how many people read my book that first summer.
Ever since the day my book came out, I have received the most touching messages. Women were inspired by my story; they found comfort in my words. They praised me for my openness and thanked me for sharing my personal story with them. They didn’t feel so alone anymore. They were no longer the only ones. They read my story and knew there were so many others with similar feelings and fears and thoughts. They told me I spoke their minds and lent my book to family and friends to make them understand what fertility problems are all about.
Those women tell me they feel inspired to deal with this long road in a different way now, celebrating life like I do, talking about it, instead of keeping it a secret. They feel lighter, like they no longer have to carry their heavy burden alone anymore. My book is a tool that people use to talk about their deep and uncertain wish to be parents one day. I once got a letter from a man, his wife had gone through the IVF roller coaster with her previous partner. He thanked me, because thanks to my story he was able to understand better what his wife had gone through. They are now blessed with three children.
There are women who read my book over and over again. Someone read it five or six times. Personally I never read a book twice, or watch the same movie again. It feels amazing and very fulfilling that my book has a deeper meaning to them.
I hear so many beautiful but just as many sad stories around me. Not everyone has a happy end. I find it hard to accept that some dreams don’t come true. Or to accept that some women finally do get pregnant and then lose their baby. I feel the pain of those who have done everything they can and are still left empty-handed. Life is not fair. I talk to them, and keep asking myself ‘Why not?’ I have met really great couples, and they are definitely worthy of having a baby, their kid would have such wonderful parents. Sometimes it makes me cry when I hear their stories.
I decided to send my book in pink gift boxes, similar to the birth announcement box we made for Felicia. People like to be surprised with my little box filled with love and luck and a personal touch. It is not just any book in a white envelope. I decorate it with ribbons and put little hearts on the box, I always write a personal note in my book and include chocolate Easter eggs and a ’gelukspoppetje’, which is the Dutch word for lucky doll, a little talisman. It is truly unbelievable, but so many women got pregnant after receiving my little ’lucky doll’. All those emails I have received with happy news, I cannot count them anymore. I think I give hope to people and try to share my luck, let them believe miracles do happen, sometimes the miracle appears at that moment.
My dear sister Kim (‘Emma’), who has translated my book, turned out to be pregnant at my book launch (she told me afterwards), and last year she gave birth to a beautiful son called Liam. She is so grateful and feels so blessed to have a healthy little boy.
In November 2012, I also got pregnant myself for the second time in my life, after the third embryo transfer. It was an embryo from the Felicia batch we had saved in the IVF tissue bank. We felt it was a little gift from Felicia, like a twin sister or brother, conceived in the same lab at the same moment, but born at a different time. We could hardly believe I was pregnant again. Once we started to realize Felicia was going to have a little brother or sister, I miscarried. It was a difficult time in our lives having to say goodbye to this miracle. We were optimistic, and remained optimistic and confident. It had been another confirmation that I was indeed fertile. It is so different now I know I can get pregnant. I was so hopeful; we really believed it would happen again. I started a new IVF round and we got twenty-two embryos! The top embryo was put into my womb, and the fifteen embryos were put in eight straws to be stored at the tissue bank. I felt blessed having so many embryos in stock, there would have to be one to make me pregnant again. I even seriously considered embryo donation, to help others.

Meanwhile a fancy magazine asked me to write a weekly column about our wish to have a baby – part two. Thousands of people were reading our story, everywhere in the Netherlands people were burning candles to help us conceive again, they were sending me cards and charms and keeping their fingers crossed. Embryo after embryo got transferred, but the miracle did not happen. The total of embryo transfers doubled compared to how many we needed to conceive the Felicia- embryo.
After the ninth embryo transfer, I got a phone call from the hospital again: ’I am sorry Mrs Tel, we have not found any pregnancy hormones in your blood.’ I felt devastated. I could not bear to hear those words again. Every time, my period was late, and every time we were hopeful.
In the week of the ninth transfer, I had a job interview. I was working as a writer and freelancer from home, but I was really eager to have a regular job again outside the house. On Wednesday I got a job offer. On Friday I heard the bad news I was not pregnant. When one door closes, a window apparently opens. I believe in that saying. My new job is exactly what I could wish for, the right challenge for me. So I decided to stop with IVF. I have to move on with my life and my career. I am thirty-eight years old now, and I have been distracted from work by my child wish for eight years now: it is time to let go. It must be a sign that I got this new job opportunity.
Coincidentally, it was also my last column in the national magazine. It was a period of hello and goodbyes, of endings and new beginnings.
I felt the courage to quit and to say it out loud. Everyone knew I had chosen a new direction in life. I felt completely happy with our Felicia. She is three years old now, and so funny. She makes us laugh every day. She’s our everyday bundle of joy and happiness, the gratitude and love we feel is immeasurable.
Our happy and charming girl, I cannot even believe to ever have such a wonderful child again. She is exactly what we have dreamed of, or even more, she makes me feel so proud.

Still, I have cryos left in the freezer and still I have the right to two more IVF treatments covered by our health insurance. Months went by, and then it was the first day of a new cycle. I asked Frank: ’What shall we do? Shall we give it one more try?’
It is almost impossible to stop when there are still chances. So we tried one more time. We did not tell people. This time we were lucky! This week I had a Big Fat Plus on a pregnancy test! Today I am pregnant for the third time in my life. Tomorrow we’ll see. We hope for the best and keep on dreaming to one day have a little brother or sister for Felicia. Miracles do happen…
Good luck to you & don’t forget to celebrate life! Love,
Anne

Today I am 20 weeks pregnant and expecting a baby boy!

Review Freya (Dutch Fertility organisation)

Book review Looking for Easter Eggs by Anne Tel

Read for you

Say, you are a woman in your thirties. You live in Amsterdam, you have great friends and a good job, and the love of your life is even more amazing than all of the above. He’s the one you hope to grow old with, and together you’re enjoying life to the max. You’re completely happy, the world is at your feet, and everything is going as it should without even having to really try. Then you quit birth control, because both you and your husband can’t wait to have a baby. Then, suddenly, things don’t go so smoothly anymore: 90 per cent of all the women who are trying, conceive within the first year. But not you.

My opinion ****

In this book, the author, Anne Tel, grabs you by the arm and takes you with her on a compelling tour of her life. A similarity with Bridget Jones is easily made, though the scales plus man in woolly knitted reindeer sweater are missing. She does write about her long journey of fertility treatments in great detail. And oh, how relatable it all is! Time just keeps ticking away while everyone around her is getting pregnant just like that. Anne Tel is very good at describing how hard it is to combine a job with treatments: just when you have that one oh so important meeting, you have to go to the hospital for the umpteenth time. And then, when you have finally decided you need a break and you’re about to take that well-deserved holiday, you find your dream to get pregnant will have to be put on hold for yet another month before you can even start your next round of trying. Meanwhile, in between every month that there is no treatment, there’s always that strong and silent hope that a miracle might happen.

When, after missing out for a month, Anne suggests to schedule in the next round, the assistant, who’s looking in her Big Book of Appointments, tells them they have room for her in January.

‘What!’ ‘January?!!’ Frank and I exclaim at the same time. ‘Our only wish is to carry on, we have lost so many chances this year already. We need one more try this year!’

Having to wait for no real reason is almost worse than coping with yet another disappointment of not getting pregnant. Frank goes berserk and is completely unreasonable to the assistant. I begin to cry silent tears. I don’t want to wait any longer.

We walk back to our car, feeling defeated. There’ll be no more chance this year. The radio is switched on and we laugh about this joke we hear that’s not funny at all. It feels good to be able to laugh over something completely silly sometimes.

This book is a real page-turner. Will the next attempt finally be successful? Anne Tel simply drags you into her story, into her life. The book is not only very relatable for people who are dealing with IVF themselves, it’s also a great read for their family and friends. It paints a very good picture of what it’s like not to be able to get pregnant and in what way the route of fertility treatments seriously affects your life. It’s a real must-read.

Source: Freya Magazine

http://www.freya.nl Freya is the Dutch organization for people with fertility problems.

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Je eigen boek uitbrengen

Ik word regelmatig benaderd met de vraag of wij ook boeken van anderen uitgeven. Het antwoord is ja. Mijn uitgeverij Anne Tel richt zich op waargebeurde verhalen over een vrouw die een strijd heeft geleverd. Verhalen die anderen inspireren. Verhalen die je niet onberoerd laten.

Ik geloof in echte verhalen van echte mensen. Een verhaal dat het delen waard is en wat toevoegt aan de maatschappij. Puur geschreven vanuit het hart. Bij voorkeur een verhaal waar je anderen mee kan helpen of inspireren.

Heb jij een verhaal dat de moeite waard is om te delen en past het binnen onze focus? Is het jouw droom een boek uit te brengen? Mail me dan anne@annetel.nl. Koffiedrinken kan altijd. Ik help jou en anderen graag verder met verfrissende ideëen, inspiratie en manieren om dromen waar te maken. Heel veel dingen zijn mogelijk, het is vaak een kwestie van dromen, durven, doen.

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Oma met (klein)kinderwens voor haar dochter

“Lieve Anne, een hele tijd geleden las ik voor het eerst jouw boek. Het deed me lachen, huilen, bood me troost en ik putte er hoop uit. Onlangs ben ik herbegonnen met lezen. Jouw verhaal gaf me inspiratie om een aantal gedichten te schrijven. Ook schreef mijn mama een gedicht voor me. Liefs, Els”

Hieronder staat het gedichtje dat de moeder van Els schreef. Ook zij loopt al 2,5 jaar op de toppen van haar tenen, ongeduldig te wachten om haar kleinkind in haar armen te houden…oma met kleinkind

Dag mijn lieve kleine Ukkepuk,

Al zo lang wordt er op je gewacht,
Gewacht tot je onze wereld toelacht.
Je mama en papa hopen elke maand weer
Misschien wordt ons wachten beloond deze keer?

Helaas jij vindt het nog te vroeg,
Je bezorgt je mama en papa zoveel tranen en gezwoeg.

Nu wordt het stilaan tijd
dat jij ons met je komst verblijdt.
Je ouders, oom, tante, oma en opa, de ganse familie staan al lang voor je klaar
maar de tijd gaat voorbij, dag na dag, maand na maand, jaar na jaar. 

Als je komt, mag je lachen en huilen,
lief spelen of pruilen,
fietsen, dansen, zingen en nog allerhande leuke dingen.
Jouw huilen zal als muziek in de oren klinken.
En als je lacht zullen ook onze oogjes blinken.

Want weet je lieve schat, alle rijkdommen van de wereld zouden we ruilen voor een glimlach, een kreet, een blik van jou.
Zonder fout, ben jij ons grootste stukje goud.

Je hebt al lang een plaatsje in ons hart.
Maar de plaats in de grote wereld en vooral in het gezellige
nestje van je lieve ouders wacht.
We zullen naar jou blijven smachten.
Laat ons toch niet langer wachten.
Kom nu maar gauw,
Met z’n allen verwelkomen we jou!

Els, bedankt voor het delen. Ik hoop dat je snel je geluk gaat vinden en dat je droom uit mag komen met een mooie, lieve Ukkepuk in jullie leven. En ik hoop dat je moeder een oma gaat worden met de komst van jullie kleintje. Ik duim voor je.

Meet Anne Tel at Frankfurter Buchmesse

Watch my video

About the book: Paaseitjes zoeken in het AMC

  • Published in the Netherlands
  • 10,000 copies sold
  • 5 star reviews on bol.comAnne Tel omslag
  • target audience: female 25-45 years old with and without fertility problems
  • lovestory in Amsterdam, IVF background story (true based)
  • Dutch title: Paaseitjes zoeken in het AMC means: Looking for easter eggs in the Amsterdam Medical Centre. It is referring to the first fertility treatment on Easter day.
  • This book fullfills a need for people to learn moreabout IVF impact to daily life.

Summary

Imagine, you are a a 30 year old woman. You live in Amsterdam, you have great friends, a nice job and you are settled with the love of your life. You enjoy life to the max. You dream about starting a family together, like everyone else. Then, it doesn’t happen.
This is my story. I always wanted to have a family one day. Months went by, after one year we went to the hospital and got sucked into the IVF rollercoaster. One disappointment after another, you keep on believing that one day it will happen, but when? After 5 years our dream came true. We got a beautiful baby girl and she is our everyday joy and pleasure. The best thing that ever happened to us. A miracle.

Mission 

Writer Anne Tel: “Sometimes, talking about fertility problems is still a taboo in the Netherlands. It feels like my personal mission to talk and write about this delicate subject.    I try to contribute to a change, to make it easier for other IVF couples. They are not alone as one out of six couples are struggling with this. Family and friends often do no know how to deal with the emotions of their beloved. It is easy to say something wrong and hurt feelings unintentional, when you do not understand their world. I try to bring those worlds closer together for a better understanding. I think every couple that survives the IVF rollercoaster, should be really proud instead of ashamed. They fight for their dream no matter what. I keep my fingers crossed for everyone, hoping that their dreams may come true one day. I believe in miracles.”

Contact

  • Telephone: +31-294-785747
  • Mobile: +31-6-16445764
  • Email: anne@annetel.nl

Reviews

  • A must have on your bookshelf.
  • Read, laugh, cry and celebrate.
  • I saw a movie by reading your book.
  • Loved it!!! From the first till the last page, can’t wait for your next book.
  • You make me a better midwife. Thank you!
  • Best book I read in years!
  • The book that everyone should read.
  • I understand couples with fertility problems much better now.
  • Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me to understand my own feelings.
  • You are a beautiful inspiration for many women.
  • It was like it was us going through the same process.
  • Easy to read and recognizable.
  • I could not stop reading.
  • I read your book in one day. It was wonderful like being with you along your journey.
  • Completely sucked into your story.
  • It is a lovestory, written in a positive way with humor. I like it a lot.
  • No one will remain unmoved after this story.
  • Read this book at a stretch!
  • Great book! Well written.

Booktrailer Paaseitjes zoeken in het AMC

Geluksmomentjes

foto 1Elke dag maakt ze me aan het lachen. Minstens tien keer. Vaak wel twintig. Ons kleine portretje Felicia. Als ze ‘s ochtends haar ogen opent, begint de pret. We zingen kinderliedjes in bed en ze doet gezellig mee met wilde armgebaren. Ze geeft ons kusjes en stapt uit bed. In haar kamertje zit ze op een krukje en pakt ze haar roze gitaar waar ze op speelt. Een muzikaal talent heb ik foto 2nog niet in haar ontdekt. Ze pakt het AH winkelwagentje en stopt haar knuffels erin. Die brengt ze elke dag even langs bij ons in de kamer. In de badkamer vindt ze een pak maandverband. Ze pakt de maandverband uit en legt alles op de grond. De papagaai ligt op de roze verpakking, Nijntje krijgt een maandverband als bed. Ze pakt het boek Monkie (Apie) en vertelt haar eigen verhaal erbij. Ze bladert het boek door van achter naar voren en weer terug.

De dag is nog maar net begonnen. Ik heb al tien keer gelachen. Vier ochtenden per week gaat ze naar de crèche of peuterspeelzaal, maar deze ochtend is ze van ons. Ik geniet.

Het geluk zit in de kleine dingen. Dit grote geluk gun ik iedereen.

18 juli boekpresentatie in Abcoude

Graag nodig ik je uit voor de boekpresentatie in boekhandel Sprey te Abcoude (Brugstraat 1-5). Dit vindt plaats op woensdag 18 juli om 18.00 uur. Met jullie wil ik het glas heffen op mijn twee dromen die werkelijkheid zijn geworden.
Mijn boek gaat over liefde, reizen en vruchtbaarheidsproblemen, de impact van IVF op het dagelijkse leven. Mijn boek is positief geschreven, vol humor en liefde en absoluut geen patiëntenverhaal.
Het boek is sinds deze week verkrijgbaar bij Sprey en via o.a. mijn websitebol.com of bruna.nl te bestellen. Iedereen is van harte welkom in Sprey. Ook de limited edition zal alléén deze avond te koop zijn bij boekhandel Sprey. Laat je me even weten of je erbij bent?
Graag tot ziens op 18 juli!

Bijzonder cadeau voor bijzondere vrouwen

Ik ben er trots op dat ik Moeders voor Moeders kan helpen door mijn IVF-ervaringsverhaal te delen. Als zomeractie geeft Moeders voor Moeders mijn boek cadeau aan alle zwangere vrouwen die zich in juli en augustus aanmelden. Dit bericht staat op hun website:

Beste aanstaande moeder,

Van harte gefeliciteerd met je zwangerschap! Geweldig dat je zwanger bent én dat je overweegt om deel te nemen aan Moeders voor Moeders! Vooral doen, want jouw hulp is hard nodig en wordt bijzonder op prijs gesteld. Door andere vrouwen zoals ik.

Bij mij ging zwanger worden namelijk niet vanzelf, ik heb een lange weg afgelegd, veel medicijnen moeten inspuiten en honderden bezoeken aan het ziekenhuis afgelegd.Het is het allemaal waard geweest, want vorig jaar is mijn dochtertje Felicia geboren. Ze is elke dag een cadeautje.

Ik heb een boek geschreven over mijn IUI en IVF ervaringen. Met humor en liefde, want het onderwerp zelf is al zwaar genoeg. Mijn boek is een extra cadeautje van Moeders voor Moeders aan jou als je in juli of augustus gaat deelnemen.

Geniet van het wondertje in je buik.

Een fijne zwangerschap toegewenst.

Hartelijke groet,
Anne Tel